This incident happened exactly as described and I have not exaggerated the events in any way at all. Also please rest assured that no animals were hurt during this incident although my pride was irreversibly damaged.
After work one day, I went to assist my wife at a weekly BBQ she and her family organise at their Holiday Park Business. My responsibilities are restricted to general cleaning duties for which I am rewarded with a cheeky burger. Fair is fair. I am hoping to work my way up to Sous Chef but we'll see how that goes.
I'm stood having a chat when I make a small step backwards only to hear a little yelp from behind me. I turn to see a small Yorkshire Terrier behind me looking up at my face with a look of incredulity. Oh blimey I think I may have stood on Molly. Luckily I hadn't and poor Molly was just warning me in case I thought about it.
Feeling guilty I lean down at arms length to pick her up and comfort her like any self-respecting dog lover would. Unfortunately at this point Molly has other ideas and moves a little further away. Now at full stretch I scoop the dog in to my arms. As I go to stand, my shoes, which are completely void of any tread, begin to slip and slide on the greasy grass. I'm hurtling at some speed towards the 8 foot high privet hedge. I can neither stand or fall and continue at some speed towards the hedge clutching a small slightly unsure Yorkshire Terrier.
At this point I should point out that most (if not all) of the people attending the BBQ, including my wife and her family are watching intently as things continue to unfold.
I am completely unstoppable as I approach the hedge but I have the presence of mind to swing the little dog to my side but as I have no free hands to break my fall I go head long into the hedge up to my waist still clutching the dog which I had saved a similar fate as me.
I am only stopped by the hedge and can hear people laughing including / mainly my Wife. I pull myself from the hedge covered in all manner of leaves and twigs clutching the Terrier now in somewhat of a daze. I hand the dog back to her owner with my tail between my legs. The wife brushed me down through the torrent of tears that were running down her face. To be fair she did ask after my welfare as I had a small cut on my face, only to then dissolve into tears which pretty much continued through to the breakfast table in the morning.
Luckily I can look back at the whole episode with a smile on my face. The family still ridicule me though (more than usual) as I am the Insurance Broker for the site and they like to point out that I obviously had not carried out a good risk assessment on the slip / hedge / terrier risk.
You never know when you are going to look like an idiot do you.
